Wednesday, December 2, 2009

What's this white stuff?

I slept straight through my alarm this morning. I awoke to the sound of beating rain on my window, in my dark little cocoon. I was in "the egg" this morning, wrapped up like a pig in a blanket, fully embodying the epitome of a blanket thief. It was glorious.
I realized it was 7:55, a good 25 minutes after my alarm was supposed to go off, but hey it's raining. And apparently 8:30 at my office means 9:00 anyway. So of course I do my usual morning routine of checking my twitter, facebook, and gmail accounts in bed before even brushing my teeth or taking out my retainer.
Yes, I do wear my retainer 3 times a week. It's from 8th grade and I'm pretty sure it probably has hundreds of disease causing bacteria crawling all over it, but I like my pearly whites and gotta keep em lookin fly. At least I never dropped my retainer in the middle school garbage can and actually dug it out so "my mom wouldn't be mad."
So of course, I log into twitter and immediately see 25 posts in the following variations:
All linked to photos that looked more like rain than snow, but it was indeed snowing! or at least falling into the "wintry mix" category. I wonder if school was cancelled this morning? apparently we don't cancel work for snow. That's okay though, we have a work happy hour tonight so I have something to look forward to.
Even though my team member forgot to include me on the email and I found out this morning. Um, hello? I can understand if you leave me off of a meeting email or one of the stupid chains that goes around, but if there is booze involved, I better be the first f-ing name on the list, buster. Jesus, what does it take to get blitzed in the blizzard around here?  
Although I really want to just go home and make peppermint hot chocolate toddies.
Some people find it inappropriate to take shots of rumplemintz, but it's okay if I put it in my cocoa. Whatever, I'll take what I can get. But maybe I shouldn't drink rumplemintz alone...seems a bit aggressive (re: alcoholic and perhaps dangerous when decorating the tree with breakable ornaments).....
The snow has now stopped, but I'm hoping it will come back. My co-worker Katie just announced she had never seen snow before this morning. Don't worry, she's from Florida. Well, Katie, in case you hadn't noticed, snow is a really big freaking deal here in Texas.
Traffic stops, school is canceled, everyone feels the need to facebook, twitter, and blog about it (I'm SO unoriginal), and we generally make a big fuss about how WINTER HAS FINALLY COME!
However, please do not confuse this with any effort to change our wardrobe style. Due to the fact that I quite enjoy polluting the air with my nasty SUV, I blatantly ignore the public transportation options surrounding my apartment and choose to drive parking garage to parking garage. I don't even have to wear a coat! a simple sweater will suffice! On my way, I saw a few people waiting for the bus, rubbing their arms in an effort to keep warm. No jacket. We don't wear jackets here in Texas! And we don't buy appropriate shoes either! Who cares if it's snowing/sleeting/34 degrees. This arctic weather will pass soon enough. I'm keeping my flip flops on, by God! I swear, people would rather just throw on a pair of socks with their flip flops and hobble around instead of investing in a pair of closed-toed shoes.
I used to think it was cool to wear toe socks with flip flops. I shudder at the memory.

No seriously, bile is rising up in my throat as we speak. I loathe these socks. 
In fact, I would rather have my toes turn black from frostbite and be amputated than ever wear toe socks again. 

To get my mind off toe socks, I think we should build a snowman.....

Hmm well, that wasn't very promising.
Not like you care.
You're too busy wondering, "hey, where did that yellow snow come from? And where did it go?"
I shoveled it away.
So don't worry about it.

And don't be sad for Frosty, either.
Underneath that faux-snow exterior was a real, live snow-boy.
And the magic of Campbell's Soup warmed him to life.
Like Pinocchio, except this little boy didn't get caught in a whale, and he didn't belong to Geppetto, and his little carrot nose didn't grow when he lied and pretended to be a snowman.
In fact, this is not like Pinocchio at all!

Welp, I'm off to take my Christmas Picture for our team.
I got my red jingle earrings in.

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