Wednesday, November 11, 2009

God Bless America

There are very few things in this world that I cherish more than being an American.
Before I start my usually chides and sarcasm, I want to take a serious moment to say a sincere Thank You to our troops. I cannot imagine a more dignified way to support our people and our country, and those guys don't get enough credit.
So here's to you, Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines--retired or active.
(And coast guard?)
Thank You for all that you do.
I also encourage everyone else to take 2 minutes to show the military some lovin'.

Let's have a little chat about why Veteran's day is so great.
First of all, Veterans have the best stories of anyone I have ever met. When I was in PALs in 8th grade, we were assigned to "friends" at the Senior Citizen home a few miles away. Everybody use to force their old person to go be social just so we could hear Stan tell his stories. Stan was a bit senial, as politically incorrect as they come, and may or may not have been making up every war story he told. But the point was, this guy loved his country, I have no doubt he was in the military (just a bit unsure of his stories), and he deserves some respect. Something that the elderly don't get enough of.
When I'm old, people better be giving my respect like it was prune juice. And if not, my cane is going to remind you just how big of a "pain in the ass" I can be. capiche?

No. 2 on the list. I looove parades. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Neiman's Christmas parade, Fourth of July, and 2010's much anticipated San Francisco Bay to Breakers. Gay Pride parades are fun to watch too, solely because I think gay men were born with an extra "fun" gene.
I may have to breed with a gay one day just to ensure my child is a 10 on the fun scale.

But the great thing about the Veteran's Day Parade is that these people actually did something.

Plus the American flag makes me a little teary eyed just looking at it.
I always wonder, if I had been born in France, would be as proud of my country as I am of America?
(this is a joke: the answer is most definitely NO). 

I think "Josh" says it best in the following poem (
An American Parade shows the bravery of our country.
An American Parade has people dancing with freedom.
It sounds like the beating drums of the band.
It feels like the air of honor.
It tastes like red, white, and blue cotton candy.
It smells like the sweet smell of liberty and justice.
Those are the sights and sound of an American Parade.

4th Grade
Copyright 2006

First of all, this kid rocks for thinking of red, white, and blue cotton candy.
And I, too, love the sweet smell of liberty and justice.
we call it "deodorant" here in America.
But I really don't think the copyright was necessary...Just Sayin'...
Do I owe this kid some kind of footnote or citation?

Numero Tres, when I was younger, we used to get an assembly and a giant cake at school to celebrate Veteran's Day. Please note that this was after you had to stand up in class and tell everyone about a Veteran in your family. Thank goodness for Grandfathers and distant relatives to prevent my utter embarrassment of not having a military member in the family. Those kids got rocks thrown at them at recess. We called them "grenades" and told our anti-American classmate enemies they wouldn't understand because their families were... well, anti-American. 
(that story is a total fabrication and never happened, well the cake, assembly, and honoring a family member is true. I just made up the grenade part. mmm hand grenades. Bourbon street anyone? we can declare war on Katrina, or Ida! or both!) 

 The one thing I do not appreciate about Veteran's Day?
The free loaders.
Public libraries are closed, why read a heroic tale of military troops past?
Post Offiices are closed. Who would want to send a letter or care package to a loved one who has served, anyway?
Government offices are closed. I assume this includes the DMV, surprise surprise.
Oh, and of course the bank. Veteran's don't need money they have that pension fund!

My office is open. And we are celebrating our Veterans!
Way to go, privately held corporate business! 
Although you could have at least sprung for a cake...

Or cocktails.

But either way, thank you troops and God bless!
For your service, dedication, and protection....
Ohhh say does thaaat star spangled baaaannneeeerrr yeet waaaaave......

O're the laaaaaannnd of the freeeeeee
and the hoooooome of thee brrraaaaaaave

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