The Red, White, and Boo Hoo

Alright people, WTF.

I felt like I was in a live feed of @shitmydadsays the other night at dinner when my dad blurted out,

"America is raising a bunch of pussies."

But he's right.

Oh, wait, but not Barack Obama.

Apparently, "He may be skinny, but he's tough"!

Sorry dude, I'll take Michelle protecting me over your "tough" ass.

I'm pretty sure your chicken legs might be smaller than mine.

Besides, Texas supports the NRA. I'll just stand close to my gun. It's "skinny but tough" too.

And, Florida! I can't believe you. I thought you were a red state.

Home Depot Fired Wally Beaver! 

For wearing a "One Nation, Under God, Indivisible" pin?!

He'd been wearing it for 19 months, but bringing his bible to work was the straw that broke the (atheist) camel's back.

Boss man doesn't like free speech, especially when it involves religion.

Sounds like Home Despot to me!

You can thank me for the vocabulary lessons later.

Angered, I ripped through the newspaper to the sports section!

(actual occurrence: clicked on the google "sports" link)

More Jesus Bashing! 

Penn State students cause a stink because their white out shirt "looks like a cross"

Kind of, but it looks more like the stripe down the middle of your football helmets 

1) Your student population voted on it, so it's your fault.

But the whiners probably didn't vote anyway. and I bet they don't like college football either.

That's how it works right?

2) Shouldn't you be more concerned that it says WHITE OUT?

OMG that is SO RACIST!

What about red and yellow and black?

All the other little children of the world.

Jesus loves them too, oh wait, that's your whole problem.

Ugh, I remember the days when people were PROUD to hold the American flag during the fire drill.

I mean, we used to have to move our safety pin from the green smiley face to the yellow non-smiley face (but not frowny yet) just for fighting about who got to be line leader and hold that damn flag.

I swear, it's this kind of shit that drives me to drink!!

Luckily, Daily Candy saves the day again!

 

Three liter wine barrel for $30 AND it stays fresh for 6 weeks?

Yippy-skippy!

It's the closest I am going to get anytime soon to fulfilling my recent hopes and dreams to opening my own vineyard in Sonoma.

Plus it has a cute name, www.redtruckwines.com.

I would recommend buying in bulk to avoid high shipping costs.

Or just fly out to Sonoma yourself with Southwest's amazing 72 hour fairs.

Of course, as a self-proclaimed Costco advocate and lush, I do not foresee buying in bulk to be  a problem for Moi.

Does vodka come in 3 liter barrels yet?