Monday, January 11, 2010

What new year's resolution

Today was a hellishly long day. Not in that "I hate my job and want to kill myself" kind of way, because I actually quite like my job, but rather in the sense that my eyes were burning so bad that I thought they were going to just swell shut and never open again.

I imagine my waking this morning was much like being born. There I was tucked in my warm little cocoon of a comforter happy as a chestnut roasting on an open fire. And then the sun rose.....

We will skip past the part where I slept at my parents' house because I was too lazy to drive home, and how I blew up the air mattress by mouth because I couldn't figure out the pump, and the fact that I even sleep on an air matress on a bare floor with no blinds....oh here we go. Yes, so I don't have blinds. At the exact moment that I roll over I am simultaneously blinded by the wrath of a thousands suns and deafened by the roar of "samba" on my alarm. F U MONDAY! Snooze.....

Then it all happened again 10 minutes later. It actually probably would have been a better experience if someone ha hung me upside down by one leg and slapped my ass until I cried.

I may not have survived without my savior of a mother waking up earlier than necessarry and making coffee. There is a special place in heaven for moms.

And equally a special place in hell for the person who invented the 9-5, which really seems to be more of an 8:30-6:30, which is not pleasant after my intense caffeine crash.

So this brings us to 6:30 when I left. I decided working out was what I should do. I grudgingly drove to the 24 hour downtown, missing two turns in my stupor and making a 5 minute trip closer to 20. I went into the parking garage, wound up 4 floors and maneuvered myself between a BMW and Mercedes who each took up far too much room, and turned of the engine. I sat there long enough to make eye contact with the two guys at the elevator an decided I hated everyone at the gym tonight. I turned the car back on and left.

It ddnt occur to me that 0-30 minutes in the garage still costs $3 until I got to the exit without parking validation. So I lied to the parking attendant. I looked him straight in the eye and sadly told him I forgot my tennis shoes, hoping my sad panda face was distracting him enough to fling those suckers from the passenger seat to the floorboard.

He mumbled something about validating both tickets when I came back but I had no time for that. I escaped the gym FO FREE!!

Now I'm sitting at home watching the bachelor with a fat glass of wine. You're probably thinking, "so what? We've all done it." this would be true. Except that I just got back from an 11 day trip that can only be described as bingefest.

Anywho. I'm just thankful I had wine, because the bachelor is currently reminding me why I pop open a bottle before I watch.


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Hey, hey, I'm technical!

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