Friday, March 19, 2010

Sorry Blog

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry that I have neglected you.

I'm sorry that I've let you down.

I'm sorry that I haven't partaken in the tap tappity tap of my keyboard as I watch the words appear on your glorious white canvas.

But mostly, I'm sorry that I haven't had time to post.

Not sorry for you, but sorry for me.
There are so many things I wanted to share with you.
For example,
last night I had a dream that my mom wanted egg drop soup.
we took her to a chinese restaurant so she could have some.
The waitress wanted to add hot peppers but she wasn't supposed to.
So she tried to sneak them in but got caught and the emperor got mad.
we ran out and I accidently left my shoes inside.
This is a big deal because i lost all of my flats except one pair (in real life not in my dream), but i woke up in a panic that i was shoe-less.
Anyway, after the emperor chased us out we ran to our minivan, only to be held up at gun point by a masked man.
I screamed and he ran away.
My mom jumped in the minivan and pulled me through the window and sped off.
We were safe.
My grandmother was also present for all of these chinese adventures.
The point is....
I enjoy you. I miss you. and I will be back.

If it helps, I neglected showers, breathing, lunches, and morning coffee runs (trips to the coffee shop, not coffee diarrhea) before you got axed.

For revenge, please contact boss lady and those needy clients.

Actually, don't do that.

Next week is a new week, and I plan on refocusing my attention so I can spend the majority of my time blogging, tweeting, and drinking dirty martinis. I would say wine, but we all know I haven't been skipping that part of my routine.

I love you, Blog, and I'll see you next week so I can bitch about how fat men really need to wear undershirts. Because everybody loves a nice pair of titties, but no one appreciates triangular saggy man boobs.

Come Monday, I'm lighting a blogging fire under my ass. 
Until then, keep on keepin on.

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